On Wikipedia, comfort is defined as a sense of physical or psychological ease and a lack of hardship while uncomfortable are people lacking in comfort.  I disagree!  I am hung up in the word “lacking”.  I think people who are comfortable are lacking.  Let me explain. When you go along in life and stay within the lines, always on the safe side of the street, not taking risks and staying under the radar, you think you are comfortable.  You don’t ruffle feathers, you don’t cause problems, you avoid drama… Ha!

That is not the life I want to live. Not that I desire to ruffle feathers and be that obnoxious guy no one wants around. Far from it.  I want to be the person that takes the risks, that lives in that uncomfortable zone because that is where I am growing – taking life by the horns.  Experiencing new things.  Having new adventures. Dreaming big dreams and better yet, living the life I desire.

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Comfort is a place where boredom sets in.  I define comfort as eating TV dinners in front of the television night after night with nothing worthwhile to say to my spouse while my kids are glued to their fantasy role playing video games because our life is BORING! And Comfort is where I think those people live that are afraid of going for the big promotion because they live in fear that they aren’t good enough.

Good enough. Ha!  I don’t subscribe to that philosophy.  We are all good enough.  In fact we are better than good enough.  Good enough is not an option with me.  Did I always think this way? No.  I lived in comfort until one day a mentor pushed me.  I didn’t know he was my mentor at the time.  He was just my friend and he pushed me to dream bigger dreams. He pushed me to want more out of life. To go after the big fish.

I have physical and psychological ease because I am reaching for the stars and I am going to do whatever it takes to get there!  My mentor pushed me and changed my thinking – he said – even though you don’t believe it now, trust in my belief in you. That was motivation enough for me – I trusted in his belief that I could and wow did my life change.  My mentor got me out from in front of that television and off the couch to living life!  And the best part is now I am mentoring others to achieve their dreams.  Comfort is not my goal – I’ll take uncomfortable any day!

If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. ~ Albert Einstein

I love that quote!  Change is that scary word that most people shy away from.  I don’t want to change.  Why should I change?  Why doesn’t everyone else change to accommodate me?  If I change, then I will be out of my comfort zone.  Why change something that isn’t broken? Change.  Asking someone to change is like expecting the sun to not rise.  Isn’t it a pointless request?  Change comes from within.  Change is something we do with ourselves.  Only we can control us, no one else.  So why ask, expect, anticipate, anything from someone else?

Let’s focus on how to change us.  First why would anyone want to change themselves?  Is it because they don’t like the outcome?  Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you really want to change their mind about something?  You try so hard to convince them that your point of view is right and theirs is wrong!  Can’t they see that?  I mean do they realize just how foolish their ideas are?  Ha!

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Cause and Effect.  Facts and Theory.  Yin and Yang.  If you don’t like the end result, then you need to change the actions.  If the facts don’t fit the theory, in other words, the end result of the facts is not the theory then the facts must change.  Your actions (cause) create and end result (effect).  If you don’t like the effect, change the cause.  If you want a particular effect, but aren’t getting it, then change the cause. It is really simple but we complicate it because we think it is everyone else that needs to change and not us.  Stop.  Take a breath.  Read that again.  It is really simple.  We want a different end result.  We need to make a change.

If you want to convince someone you are right and they are looking at you like you have three eyes… stop.  Look within.  Why do you want to convince anyone of anything?  If someone cannot see your point of view for whatever reason, if someone is doing something that you do not like, if someone or something is not what you expected… then look within.  Look at what you are doing, thinking, saying,… take the blame off others and look at your actions and make the necessary changes and adjustments to achieve the end result you so desire.

So many people wish life was easier, with less challenges and obstacles but without challenges, life becomes stagnant and we stop growing.  Challenges help us uncover who we are and it allows us to become better people. 

Let’s examine a very simple 4-step method to overcoming challenges.

1. State the problem clearly.  When we are faced with challenges, we tend to avoid the issue and run the other way burying our heads in the sand hoping it goes away.  Or we may say – ok, there is an obstacle, instead of heading right to it and plowing through, I am going to look for another path and even though that is not the way I want to go – it looks easier… less headache… but rarely does that work out.  When we avoid or go out of our way, we cause more headache in the end.  It takes more of our time, it takes more of our energy and we don’t get the end result we are looking for.  So take this time to understand what the challenge is.  Ask yourself what is the question, what is asked of me, what is the main goal? Write this down on paper.

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2. Identify what you have at your disposal – what resources are available to you to work through this challenge? List all of these resources out.  These should include things such as tangible assets – money, computer, books, etc.  And then what skills you have, what are your strengths to work through this?  Don’t forget others – what access do you have to others that can help?

3. Design the strategy to overcome this challenge.  Utilize all your assets to create a plan of action.  You may find this plan will need to be tweaked as you execute and that is ok.  Keep at it.

4. Execute the strategy with effort and determination.  Do your very best with all you have to overcome your challenge. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you.

Practice this method on small challenges and see how easy it is to overcome.  Then try it on the big rocks! 

Behavior defined can be a physical thing one does such as a morning routine and it can be non-physical such as replaying negative thoughts all day long.  Our behaviors are motivated by our needs and therefore we can be manipulated as well as manipulate to have our needs met.  So when we have negative behaviors and we want to change them, we find it isn’t always so easy because these learned behaviors that we exhibit are actually rather complex.

There are two types of motivation – the motivation to approach something and the motivation to avoid something.  When we desire something, we are motivated to approach it therefore receiving positive reinforcement or feedback.  When we avoid something, we are motivated to move away from it or we will receive negative reinforcement or feedback.  This is pretty simple.  We understand that when we eat something sweet, most of us have a pleasant experience and when we eat something sour, our faces pucker and we try to avoid that experience again.

But let’s look at those things we approach or avoid because the thing doesn’t create that behavior, we do.  Some people desire the adrenaline rush of jumping out of an airplane. It is exhilarating – it is something they repeat again and again as it has a positive affect on them and they desire that and are motivated to seek that experience.  Some people avoid even the thought of getting on an airplane due to their learned fears that it will absolutely crash and they will die no matter what statisticians say – forget purposefully jumping out of a perfectly good airplane!  Did the airplane create these behaviors?  No!  We learned them.  And each of us react differently to different things, experiences, tastes, smells, thoughts, etc.  All because of our own personal thoughts and behaviors.

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So how do you change your behaviors?  Your thoughts?  Let’s say you want to become a public speaker but you are petrified of speaking in front of people.  How can you overcome this fear, build confidence, perform and knock it out of the park?  You have to change your behavior so that you are motivated to approach public speaking effortlessly without turning into a sweaty mess. Practice.  Anything you try for the first time will be clumsy and awkward, maybe even difficult.  By practicing your speech – over and over again until it is so engrained in you and flows off your tongue as if it is just another story you are telling a friend, you build your confidence to speak to several friends or a small group… until you are ready to speak to a large audience.  Practice.

Practice your speech and ask your audience (family members, friends, mentor, coach) for feedback.  Try giving it several different ways.  Break down the speech into bits and mix it up.  All the while correcting your approach and delivery until you shape your presentation and performance. By using these techniques, you can change an old behavior that you don’t want for a new one that you do want.  Whatever you want to change, practice your new desired behavior, shape the new behavior by approaching it in different ways and ask for feedback all the while tweaking it, chain all the components of the new skills you are now mastering together and now you have successfully changed your behavior.

 

-Guest post by Jenna Schneider-

My eyes opened with clarity and focus.  Oddly I felt energized (normally getting out of bed is not my forte)… I thought maybe if I got up I would actually have time to get a few personal things done before the day began.  With thoughts of task driven domination I glanced at the alarm clock. 3:15AM.  Excuse me?  How could I feel so alert when in reality I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep… I lay there, wide awake, contemplating the choice I had to make. A. Do I get out of bed and start the day or B. Do I force myself to go back to sleep like any logical person would do?

To be honest I initially went with option B, but my mind would not shut down. It was ready to go, to take on the day, and accomplish big dreams.  I laid there trying to convince myself of all the logical reasons I should NOT get up. (would I eat breakfast at 3:15am, could I actually function at this hour…) In the end I QUESTIONED LOGIC. I went against every logical thought in my mind and tore the covers off.

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Life. Life is full of minutes, moments, experiences. What would life be if we based it on logic? There would be no entrepreneurs, roller coasters, random acts of kindness, selfless acts, and moments of adrenaline. Life would be BORING. Next time you start to feel addicted to a routine, or a lack of excitement I challenge you to examine your days.  Do you take the road less traveled or do you do what any logical person would do? If your answer is yes, find ways you can become adventurous, spontaneous, love-driven.

Today do one thing that is NOT logical.  Eat the hot dog from the corner stand, stop and get Starbucks even if it means being 5 minutes late, call a friend you haven’t talked to in years, finally tell a friend about the business idea you have been sitting on. I DARE YOU. CHALLENGE LOGIC.

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Attitude is the one thing all human beings have complete control of and yet many unknowingly choose a negative attitude.  If we understood the power of our own attitude in our lives, most of us would change it immediately.  How many times have you been told to change your attitude?  That is a common order from most parents and teachers!

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Attitude is created by your thoughts, feelings and actions.  Your mind controls feelings and decides whether these feelings will be positive or negative through your thoughts.  Your body then follows these thoughts through actions and behaviors.  It sounds simple because it is.

Through our thoughts, we create an attitude.  This attitude is expressed based on how we internalize ideas.  Our mind and body move into a new vibration of conscious awareness known as feelings.  These feelings are then displayed through actions and behaviors that produce the results in our lives.

Attitude [Thoughts + Feelings + Actions] = Results

Imagine feeding our minds with positive thoughts.  We will end with positive results.  Now imagine feeding our minds with negative thoughts.  Makes sense, doesn’t it? By changing our thoughts, we can change our attitude, which will ultimately change our results.  Attitude is the creative cycle that allows us to feel a certain way and then take the necessary action to a specific result. Pick up a book, surround yourself with positive people, tell yourself you will no longer gossip about others. CHOOSE POSITIVE.

Start with the end in mind and make the decision that today is the day to change your attitude!

No way, the winter is passing and spring is coming.

So begin and GO.

 

 

This is a guest post by Jenna Schneider. She is my wife and is very passionate about taking care of our bodies and preserving our health!

 

Taking care of yourself is essential if you truly want to reach your #NEXTLEVEL. Your body will decide how much you can give to life and your business. When you take care of your body it shows you are a motivated and dedicated individual.  No one wants to do work with the guy who heads home, grabs his bag of chips, and plops in front of the TV.  Laziness does not trump motivated.  Be the guy you want to work with. The guy who grabs the salad and soup for lunch and hits the gym before work.

You have probably set a resolution to work out more or to eat healthier but it seems two weeks after and these ideas are tossed out the door. WHY? Because you get lost in your business.  You say, “I don’t have time for the gym I need to work” or “Work is really stressing me out today if I just get that burger maybe I will be relaxed and can finally get some work done”. HELLO.  You NEED to make sure your body is ready for what your mind has envisioned. “Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn

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